Staying single

I have been meaning to write an article on staying single for quite some time. Due to work commitments and procrastination, I did not get about penning my thoughts down.

After reading the article by Anthony Yeo, again I see the social stigma on singles resounding strongly, pushing many singles to the track of marriage. Singles even have to pay more income tax than married couples.

Yet marriage is not for everyone.

Consider the high standard of living, the rat race, office politics and other stressful aspects of life in Singapore, being married is more bane than boon. In fact, when I observe around, the only happily married couples are those married recently. For those who are married above 5 years, they face a higher stress level in work as they cannot afford to screw up due to family commitments. Hence, they can only be Mr. or Mrs. Yes people when it comes to work “arrows”.

I am not saying staying single will definitely guarantee more happiness than being married. Nor am I saying being married will be the sure way of losing freedom and happiness.

I do feel that many married couples get married for a variety of (perhaps wrong) reasons. For instance, natural progression of our romance, our combined income nearing $8000, hence “better” get married before we are not eligible for the grant, parents nagging, friends are getting married one by one (herd mentality), wanting to have kids at an earlier age, already have a kid!, property are at attractive valuations, found a nice HDB flat at a good location, can’t wait to get out of my family (perpetual conflicts), everyone knows we are together and we will “lose face” if we do not get married, we are together for many years already, I cannot find a better one anyway, I am getting old etc.

The list can go on and on.

Being a rational person (or at least I try to be), getting married is a life time investment. A wrong choice can literally upset your life and leave you 50% poorer. It takes careful planning and thorough evaluation before the big commitment. Yet the above reasons are often emotional and even impulsive. How can we expect marriage to be happy when romance dies off (almost certainly as time progresses) and hope for happily ever after? Are we leaving our happiness too much to fate and hope?

Having gone through a number of relationships with Singaporean girls, I do have my reservations on marriage. I have seen many heartlanders or “girl next door” expecting high standards from their partner. Car, stable income, potential high income, good family background, university degree, presentable looks and built, humourous, witty, gentlemanly, intelligent, caring, generous, good dress sense, enjoys talking on phone etc.

Although I shamelessly admit that I possess the above characteristics, I do feel stressful to keep up with the “natural selection” criteria of the Singaporean girl. I do not blame them for it though. Consider the typical small family size in our local context, all boys and girls are gems of the family and are brought up with good education and material comfort. I cannot expect them to “downgrade” after marrying me right?

Yet I do not see the point being entangled in romance, enter a journey of marriage and eventually tomb of divorce. The girls can continue to keep their high standards, I respect your selection criteria. However, I will definitely stay vigilant and not fall into the marriage trap. Staying single and living with parents grant me absolute autonomy of lifestyle: I have no curfews, I can invite my friends for mahjong, I can watch soccer till wee hours of the morning, I have my laundry and ironing done faithfully, I do not have to worry about utilities or breakdowns, I do not have to tolerate PMS, I do not have to visit in laws, I do not have to wash the plates and get scolded for making a mess, I have freedom.

The reasons may be simple and even selfish, but at least it is my choice, my free will. I do not allow myself to be subjected to peer pressure, herd mentality and societal expectations.

Hence for those singles reading my blog, you have not made the wrong choice!

For the married ones, I respect you, and wish you all the best for your marriage!!

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Anthony Yeo: Marriage - an unsettling experience

Copied from Sunday Times, 29 June 2008

People believe that June is a good month for marriage. Somehow this is the month for weddings, and with the recent series of activities in conjunction with enhancing family life in Singapore, marriage is certainly in the air.

Weddings are usually much celebrated events often attended by enthusiastic guests, including single or unattached adults.

Along with the carnival spirit infused into the celebration are those well-meaning married guests who inevitably accost singles with the inevitable 'So, when is your turn?' query.

Single adults know all too well what this means and often respond with polite responses such as 'You'll know when it comes' or 'I guess it's not time yet'.

Somehow we tend to believe that marriage is for everyone and, all too often, unattached adults are singled out as targets for prospective coupling in marriage.

There is also a commonly held notion that to get married is to 'settle down', in contrast to being unmarried suggesting that the latter is to be saddled with an 'unsettled' state of life.

Somehow there is a prevailing idea that this 'unsettled' state is synonymous with being uncertain, fickle-minded, frustrated or incomplete.

With all the earnest drive to promote marriage in Singapore, singles tend to be unsettled by the idea that fulfilment and happiness in life is to be experienced primarily in 'marital bliss'.

This prevailing idea seems to defy my observation of the many couples who have sought help for marital conflict.

Each time I encounter married people afflicted with marital woes, I am reminded of how marriage tends to be an unsettling experience.

I have also been left with the unsettled feeling, wondering why so many had chosen to be married when they could have had a less stressful life if they had stayed single.

Of course, the other unsettling feeling is the painful journey I traverse with those who have the courage to go their separate ways.

As I ponder over this issue, I sometimes wish that marriage was not held in such high regard, with less focus on the romantic ideals of a peak experience that marriage seems to promise.

Those who contemplate marriage would do well to confront the reality that marriage can be an unsettling experience rather than one where couples live happily ever after.

The way I see it, marriage promises to be unsettling as couples need to be prepared for a lot of adjustment to living with someone quite unfamiliar to oneself, learning to adapt to each other's idiosyncrasies, growing together as partners in life and coping with all the demands that marriage and family life brings.

It is also prudent to be aware that romance, if it is ever experienced, is not everlasting and may in fact fade months after the honeymoon is over.

Conflicts are inevitable and there will be many issues to be negotiated, such as relationships with the in-laws, work-home relationships and friendships with those outside of marriage.

The more I work with couples with marital conflict, the more I am concerned that marriage should not be entered into lightly. It is also fallacious to believe that life will be incomplete and unfulfilling if a person is not married.

There is more to life than marriage and no one should be made to feel deprived of what life offers if the choice is to be single.

No time to blog!

For readers who have faithfully followed my blog, I apologise for my tardiness in blogging. The simple reason is that I am back to work and everyday is a mad rush. I get back home daily, feeling extremely tired. As I slouch on the sofa and feel thirsty, I cannot even summon enough energy to bring myself a cup of tea.

That is how draining my work is, an integration of construction worker and war strategist.

I think you get the idea.

In fact, I do have quite a bit to update on my investments. This month has been quite a good month for me as I sold off some of my holdings for a profit, collected dividends and also bought Hong Leong Finance.

I will be updating on Monday (hopefully) on my portfolio and gains for June.

Thank you for following my blog closely. I get about 100 over viewers daily, quite an amazing feat for a 2 month old blog!

Thanks dudes and babes!

It can't drop further

I was chatting with a colleague over at MSN when he happily told me that he had bought China New Town at $0.16 today. Apparently, he was extremely bullish on this stock.

His reason? It had dropped over 80% since it's IPO and he believes it is high time for it to rebound. Most importantly, he happily told me: "I don't think it can drop further."

Well, I can't bear to tell him that almost any stock at a given price can drop another 99% before it reaches $0.005.

Why is China New Town (CNT) sinking like nobody's business? I believe it has go to do with it's fundamentals.

Or rather, the lack of it.

CNT FY 07 reported a turnover of RMB$363m. Not a bad figure, except that profits after expenditure is a loss of RMB$290m.

No dividend was declared (obviously).

Basically it's selling point is still the sexy story it sold during its IPO. I caution my readers to be careful about buying such speculative stocks.

Again, you will have a better chance putting your money on Croatia (against Turkey).

In fact, I am worried that my colleague actually makes money from CNT. It will foster his belief that stocks that have sinked more than 80% is a good deal. I hope he did not have to pay much to understand investment basics!

Stretch your dollars series: Get $58 for applying HSBC platinum card

While surfing today, I came across HSBC promotion. Apparently by answering 6 simple questions correctly, one will get $18 credited into his/her new credit card. If you apply for HSBC’s platinum card, you will also get $40 cash rebate, on top of the $18.

The questions are easier than you think!

I think this is much better than getting so silly spa vouchers or bag as signing up gifts.

Cash is the most welcome, anytime!

$58 is just a few clicks away!

Link below:

http://www.hsbc.com.sg/1/2/personal/cards/hsbc-platinum-card

BT: Buyback activities surge as stock prices plunge

Excerpts from BT online
June 7, 2008

By ROBERT HALILI

THE steep fall in the market this month which saw the Straits Times Index plunge by nearly 7 per cent to 2,979.56 points on Friday has resulted in a surge in the buyback activity and increase in the sales by institutional shareholders. The sharp fall in share prices also prompted directors of several firms to buy shares for the first time since listing.

On the buybacks side, a total of 17 listed firms have recorded 102 repurchases worth $25.4 million so far this month. The number of companies has already exceeded the 15 firms that bought back shares last month and there are still two weeks remaining in June.

The number of trades and value, on the other hand, are not far off from the previous month's 130 repurchases and $38.2 million.

Among the firms that recorded rare buybacks and initial director purchases this month are SC Global Developments and StarHub Ltd.

Fund managers, on the other hand, bumped up their sales from the previous week with huge disposals in AusGroup Limited, Zhonghui Holdings, and Yellow Pages (Singapore) Limited. To show how bearish the institutional shareholder sentiment was last week, several fund managers sold heavily at below their initial filing prices.

StarHub
There was a rare insider buy and more buybacks in information, communications and entertainment services provider StarHub Ltd this month.

CEO Steven Terrell Clontz recorded the first trade by a director of the company since the stock was listed in October 2004 with 150,000 shares purchased on June 13 at $2.68 each. The trade increased his direct holdings to 6.8 million shares or 0.4 per cent.

The company, on the other hand, bought back 800,000 shares from June 4 to 6 at $2.84 each. The group previously acquired 600,000 shares from May 20 to 21 at $2.84 each and 5.4 million shares from August to December 2007 at $2.78 to $3.00 each.

The rare insider buy and repurchases since May were made on the back of the drop in the share price since the second half of April from $3.14.

StarHub Ltd announced its first quarter results on May 7 with net profit up by 14.5 per cent to $80.1 million for the three months to March 31, 2008. The stock closed at $2.70 on Friday.

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Sgbluechip says: Share buy back mandate allows the companies to stabilize its share prices during negative market conditions (like now), weed out speculators and inject confidence in shareholders.

Personally I feel if you see insiders buying up their own shares in huge amounts, it is a good sign. After all, there are many reasons for human to sell his shares, but only one reason to buy shares.

To make more money!

Vietnamese brides for sale!

I find the above video rather sad. Young, pretty Vietnamese girls are shipped to Singapore to become brides of single, fat, old men.

The price? SGD $10,000.

The Vietnamese brides to be have to go through screening for diseases and virginity tests.

I find it rather humiliating from the girl’s perspective to go through the virginity test.
After all, did the men they are marrying go through the same tests?

Is the cost of a ticket from third world to first, one’s body, pride and soul?

Readers are welcome to leave comments after watching the above video.

On a lighter note, one of the girls in the video is really quite chio!

Bonds or equities?

“For no fee at all I am prepared to offer to any wealthy person an investment program which will last a lifetime and will not only preserve the estate but greatly increase it. Like other great ideas, this one is simple:

When there is a stock-market boom, and everyone is scrambling for common stocks, take all your common stocks and sell them. Take the proceeds and buy conservative bonds. No doubt that the stocks you sold will go higher. Pay no attention to this - just wait for the depression, which will come sooner or later. When the depression - or panic - becomes a national catastrophe, sell out the bonds (perhaps at a loss) and buy back the stocks. No doubt the stocks will go still lower. Again pay no attention. Wait for the next boom. Continue to repeat this process as long as you live, and you have the pleasure of dying rich.
A glance at financial history will show that there never was a generation for whom this advice would not have worked splendidly. But it distresses me to report that I have never enjoyed the social acquaintance of anyone who managed to do it… The chief difficulties, of course, are psychological. It requires buying bonds when bonds are generally unpopular; and buying stocks when stocks are universally detested.”

~Fred Schwed Jr

Sgbluechip says: Currently the bond markets are experiencing high interest and subscription due to poor equity returns. However, it is precisely that one should long equities and short bonds to be able to profit from the next cycle. Anybody can be rich but not EVERYBODY will be rich. Going with the herd will not yield you anything more than mediocre gains. Investing in equities during a bear market takes courage. But do not forget, after every bear market will be an even longer phase of a bull market. Bonds will lose value then. Look further than what is on the table now to profit from the next cycle.

It is harder to meet a bear market than a bull market as traditionally, bull market phases last longer than bear market phases. Hence, count yourself lucky to meet a bear market (like now) as it allows you to buy great businesses at wonderful prices!

PS: Sgbluechip on 3 days leave from work!